the narrow road: October 2010

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

the day of my birth...

So here it is, another year older! I have made it to the mark that I originally put the term "adulthood" on that sounded REALLY old! In some ways I feel really old in the sense of having lived through some really great things already at such a young age. Then other times I don't feel a day over 19. I always hated being thought of as young by people, which is why I think I have always loved getting older. Being the youngest, it was always like oh that is ___'s little sister and I felt just as old as them but never really was treated that way. I feel like now people definitely think I am a legit adult, and especially since I'm in grad school. It's like those factors go together. Because kids aren't in grad school, kids are in college. Stupid distinction if you ask me cause I can be a kid with the best of them.

I do have to say though that this is a different birthday than any other one. I can't say for sure what the cause of that is because there are many different variables that are different this year than last, so I can really only call it correlation, not causation. I think that for all purposes in this culture, 25 is a landmark age if you will, its a nice round number...quarter of a century :) Even for someone who likes getting older, it's odd, though I do like the opportunities that it affords me (though I won't go into those). I also think that this year feels different because I am surrounded by new people at a new school who don't really know me very well and don't know that I am the type of person who LOVES my birthday and think it's the best day of the year. And while I have come across many people who think that is stupid (a lot in my own family) I scoff at that. Follow me on my tangent/soapbox...I am the youngest of 4, so needless to say there was not an unlimited amount of attention going around, especially for the shy one. I am not loud/outspoken, more of a quiet/reserved type so is it really so much to like the attention for one day of the whole year that celebrates that I was born? No, I didn't think so. Birthdays as a kid were not the production that you see on my super sweet sixteen but they were extremely special to me. My mom always made me cookie cake and we had a party with our family and it was just exactly what I wanted. I give my mom props on the day as well. It was all her work on that day :) Another thing and I will end on this because I could go on and on, but as we get older, there are fewer and fewer chances to get together with friends/family/loved ones in general and so I FOR SURE use this as an excuse to see my favorite people. So YES, I do take pretty much every day of the week of my birthday to live it up and see all the people that I want to see most! So there!

On those notes about how much I love my birthday, I also am compartmentalizing some things right now that really need to be done for school and I am working on simultaneous emotions of stressing but also excitement because I do love it so.

All that being said....the bottom line is, ITS MY BIRTHDAY, AND I LOVE IT! only comes once a year...and I welcome them to keep coming, better than the alternative :)