"I, at least, co-create the quality of all of my relationships"
I feel like in a lot of cases when something is wrong in any kind of relationship, it is natural to blame it on the actions/inaction of the other person. It's a whole other thing to turn around and take the introspective look at yourself and determine what you have done/haven't done/pacified/enabled/conspired to do in regards to that relationship. We as people often thrive on drama. I would like to say that that is not me and in most senses I cannot stand it but its interesting where we can get that sense of activity or action from. I think that we are all addicts of something, whether to something that is good for us or something that could take our life is just content. There are obviously those that have addictive personalities, and thankfully I am not one of them but there are areas of my life that I can see an addiction-esque tendency. I really think it all goes back to our desperate inner desire for God that is lived out by filling it with something else. It's that whole thing that God is not tangible for us and we like to use our senses to touch, taste, smell, and see things to fill those needs. And everytime it goes nowhere and just leads to more emptiness.
Well those thoughts were pretty much all over the place but so is my head for the past few days...one thing I know for sure, that there is someone who loved me enough to die for me and the least I could do is to live in the freedom of that.
"Real freedom is not the external freedom to gratify every appetite; it is the internal freedom not to be enslaved by our appetites." J.O.