There is an ache inside me, it seems to be constant. Not the kind that comes from a good workout, or an illness, or even dog-sitting for a week and getting no sleep (that last one is a reality). This ache is more subtle, yet still ever present. I don't know exactly what it comes from, but I have some pretty good ideas. Things are changing...all around. The inevitable change of the season coupled with the end of one semester and the beginning of another is to be expected but still looked forward to. I kinda mean though, the kind of change that you look back on and think, "oh, that's when things changed." Years ago I had a problem with change, I disliked it immensely and did much to avoid any kind of it. Call it early self awareness (or common sense), but I realized that change is a part of life, and actually the only thing that is for certain (besides God of course). So from this, I decided to change feelings about it, it took some time for sure, but I feel that I can absolutely say that I don't avoid change and can even look forward to it. This school year has definitely tested that, but all in all, I think I have come out on top of change. All that being said...the next 5 months will prove to follow in the last year's footsteps.
*Let's just have a recap of what is changing in the next 5 months.
-I start seeing clients at HOPE center
-I start my internship at Wellspring
-My best friend Lindsay gets married
-My other best friend Liz gets married
-I move out of the house I've been living in the last 4 years with people I love more dearly than anyone.
-My sister has her first baby, I become an aunt <---- so EXCITED!!
-My old roomie Jeanette has her first baby.
That's a lot of stuff. All stuff that I'm looking forward to, but a lot of stuff nonetheless.
And then this...
"The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God stands forever." Isaiah 40:8
I'll take it, all day everyday. The ache can be present, but I need not worry because "this is my comfort in my affliction, for Your word has given me life."
A huge part of the ache is the desire to be somewhere else doing something (I don't even know what). BUT, I'm really glad I'm here and that I am getting to experience and be with the people that I love for these events in their lives. I would really have it no other way. I also can't even say how happy I am that I have made some kickass friends at school who are awesome and love Jesus. All this was really just a word vomit post to remind myself of the things that I'm writing. Felt good though...and here is to a great sunday. It is already proving to be for 3 reasons...1. I'm done house/dog sitting 2. I'm at san fran writing this 3. I'm heading to church
I'll leave a great song for the mood right now...well, and its just funny