I've been into words lately. By that I mean words that people/I use regularly but don't really stop to think about what they mean. I have probably noticed them more recently because I've been around the kiddos and whenever I say a word they don't know, I have to then give a definition of it. It's hard to define a word without using the actual word. Maybe that's just me. So my word of today is enough. You generally know when you have had enough of something. Your stomach tells you if you have had enough food, your eyes tell you if you've had enough sleep, and your feet tell you if you've had enough walking/running/being on them. I would say that people generally come to God when they have had enough. Enough of trying on their own, enough of the burden of works for reward and earning. That's finally how I gave up control of life and realized how desperately broken I was/am and saw there was a better way to do it (it being life). It changes everything, it fills the deepest holes, heals the most broken, and it's free. It's like getting a free dessert on your birthday (except obviously way better). I digress...if you have 3 hours I can talk faith. So on to the point of this blog post, being enough.
I'll start with the fact that I had such an incredible day. I signed up for a prayer retreat at church for this morning that started at 9am. It was one of those mornings that 8am came really early, and would have been so easy to just sleep in which is what I wanted to do. But I knew how great it would be and that I needed alone time with Jesus. And alone time is just what I got! I committed a new verse of Scripture to the brain today and have decided it is my 'life verse' for now.
"I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received." Ephesians 4:1
That Paul knows how to write a letter, and in prison at that...good stuff! Anyways, my desire to live a 'worthy' life is what brought up the talk of being enough. I want to be enough. I want to fully meet the demands and needs expected of me (definition of enough). What I don't do well is give myself a little grace when I fall short of being enough. It's such a crazy/interesting (insert other such word) thing that I alone was enough for Jesus to die on a cross for me, yet I never have to be enough for him because he is enough for me. Getting all that? Isn't that mind-boggling? Yes, I think so too. It's something that doesn't just click in my brain, it takes some "hmm, really?" time. But then when you think it can't possibly be true, He shows up and pursues me like I've never been pursued, and loves me deeper than even my own mother can (and she loves me A LOT), never leaves, never turns away, and always shows up. It's unlike any other and is done better than anyone ( YEAH YEAH YEAH ) You're welcome ELW! So all that to really say that the prayer retreat was just that...a retreat. A wonderful silence of 2 hours in which I could have a conversation with JC and actually listen. It was like a breath of fresh air. At the end of it we took communion (awesome) and then we were asked to write now where you experience God's extravagant love. It took me a minute, but then I realized it immediately. I experience it through the people that love Him and love me deeply through Him. Who love me as well as any human can, in an unconditional, non-manipulative, non-coercive way that just says, I see you. And in my spirit of thanksgiving, I told a few of those people thanks for being those people. It was incredible to hear the women say where they experience His love and it was just a heart happy few hours. Just a really powerful way to spent a Saturday morning in the presence.
Ash and I went to lunch afterwards and chatted it up...followed by getting home and receiving in the mail my 2nd and 3rd favorite things to get in the mail. 2nd being the bright orange shutterfly box, which holds pictures, but in this case my picture book I made for our safari trip in TZ. I had already made a book of the babies, and I knew I was going to make one just of the safari, but honestly I was waiting until they gave me a free photo book. Yes, I am that cheap. It was PERFECT!! I looked through it 3 times already and I LOVE it!!! So, the 3rd thing that makes me happy is to get clothes in the mail, yet not just any clothes. I got my Ordinary Hero "change the world for one" tshirt. First of all, you can see the blog and the tshirt here. A little back story on this. I was sent a youtube video from B of a "gotcha video" of this woman in TN who was traveling to Ethiopia to bring home her adopted little girl. So obviously because I love Africa, adoption, and blogs I started following her story which led to following other blogs as well. Turns out that her sister also adopted from Ethiopia and has this organization called Ordinary Hero and also lives in TN. I saw the shirts on her blog and they were sold out for the longest time, but she emailed me last week and told me they had more and so I quickly ordered mine. So that is the 3rd thing that was so great! Phew!! Quite the eventful day for me...and I got to go to dinner with the birthday people tonight, big day that they turned 3-0!!! Crazy!! Oh yes, I also got a "new bed" today. A & C bought a bed to go in their guest room (my room) and so I have a mahogany sleigh bed now...I am officially an adult! HA! Needless to say, I am beat!
Can't wait for church in the am. :)
"Live full lives, full in the fullness of God. God can do anything, you know- far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams." Ephesians 3